This past weekend actually marked the one year anniversary from one of the most pivotal moments of my life. I've learned more
about myself and others in the past year than I ever thought I wanted or needed to know. Most people would probably assume my experience on the Appalachian Trail would fall into this category, and it does to some extent, but the physical and emotional challenges I met on the trail were miniscule in comparison, truly an insain concept.I go through life with energy and passion but what many may not realize it that I am also fairly lazy when it comes to reflecting upon my relationships with others. I experience life as it comes and participate as I can. It is not that I dont care if I piss someone off, I do, but I dont take the time to appreciate those whom I care about. I have an independant facade that fools just about everyone. I don't share much of myself with others, I never used to have much to share. Now it is a different story but what I have learned is to shrink even further into my cocoon. Now I have a reason not to trust.
I've learned that first impressions make a difference and never trust what you see. My feet have learned to run; I run far and cycle fast, it clears my mind. My hands have learned to play guitar; I have to make my own music now, I dont have anyone to play for but myself. My heart has learned to hurt in places I never imagined possible, and the meaning of love. My mind has learned not to fall in love again, there's no place to go but down. I've learned not let down my guard, ever.
Inever before understood why friends would get so caught up in relationships and break ups. Thru high school it all seemed so superficial (exept for two and they are happily married as if from a story book). In college there were all kinds. I found myself in my first real relationship. In short, I fell in love. But we were still kids so I didnt really pay attention to what was going on. It was fun and exciting, daring and sensual but still didnt make sense. I grew up, got dull, and forgot I was in love. To fathom what my life was like 5 years before that pivotal moment meant nothing to me.
